true colors

This is a bad idea.

“I think this is a bad idea.” I gave an exasperated face when I heard my sister, Sheena, complained once we got off a bus. Even if she was hugging herself, I could still see her slightly shivering. I couldn’t laugh at her because even I was shivering, too.  It looked like my beige hoodie wasn’t enough to keep me warm in this city.

“No, it is not,” I lied to her as a reply.

She’s right, though. This is really a bad idea but I need to make it work. We didn’t waste time and money to take a bus from Metro Manila and ride to the coldest city of the country, Baguio. And no, we weren’t here for the strawberries or to take pictures of the Lion’s Head.

“Well, you still have his address?” Sheena asked as she was already rummaging through his bag. “Because we need to go already. It’s freezing here.”

After I tied my hair into a neat bun, I fetched my phone and looked at my photo gallery. Pictures of family and friends showed through the screen. I kept on scrolling until I found the picture that I was looking for: a picture of a man and a picture of the address on where he lives.

Got it.

I tighten the slings of my backpack and looked at my sister with determination, and said, “Let’s go find him.”

love myself

Have you ever had someone you felt so attached to? That it felt that that person was a part of you already, a person helping you function and breathe.

As the cold wind breeze of the sea brushed against my face, the sound of the sailing ship echoed with the wind. People around me were rushing, trying to secure tickets for the next trip. Some were struggling pulling their luggage; an old man was even holding a huge box in his shoulders. Some kids were gawking in awe at the ship drifting away in the horizon.

“Finally! That was a long line,” a man was running towards me with a long strip of ticket on his right hand. Sweat was dripping down his neck and his sunglass was on top of his head.

Before he could even speak again, I rushed to him and wrapped my arms around his body. His heartbeat was crawling down my ear and into my own heart. I savored his warmth because maybe this would be the last time I would ever see him.

He tapped on my head, making me to hug him tighter.

“I don’t want you to leave.” I looked at his face as tears were already pouring down. Then I pleaded once more, “Please, Dad.”

love letter

Matt

A friend once asked me, “If you will be given a chance to have any superpower, what would it be?”

It was the most random and ridiculous question a person would ask after meeting someone. When I first met her at a port in Bicol that was the first decent question she asked me. Of course, I told her my answer. I said that I would want to have mind-control. I could even still remember her judgmental face when I told her that.

“That’s manipulative.”

The way she rolls her eyes away from me was still evident in my memory. But I told her why. I told her that a part of having mind control, you can implant and take away something from a person’s memory. And that was the thing that I needed the most. I mean, I literally need something to be erased in my own brain.

“Finally…” I whispered to myself as I watch the flames swallow the wood that I have set. And as the sound of crickets enveloped the night, I lay down on the grass and watched the stars twinkle above me.

I tried to close my eyes and drift into relaxation of my surroundings, but I could still see her.

Julia.

three empty words

Before you start reading, I would like to welcome you to another segment. This is the first one-shot from the ‘glimpse’ series, so I took a challenge that I found from the internet that I will let people give me two names, one song, and one place and turn it into a story. And I have decided to only write 500 – 1,000 words for every entry.

So, here we are! I do hope you enjoy it because I find it so challenging to make the entries unique in their own way lol.

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Is it really possible to fall out of love?

Is it possible that one day you will stop loving that person despite the years you have been together? Like you finally had enough of the bland relationship you had, that can make you wonder why you’re still together.

s(he).

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, BULLYING.

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Vince

Everybody were crying. All of us were crying.

Despite the blurred vision I have because of my tears, I could still see people mourning. We were all wearing white clothes, black ribbons pinned on our right chests. The smell of flowers filled the room trying to blend in their cries.

And as I looked at the thing in front of me, tears started to race down my face again. My heart kept beating out of my chest as I walked towards it. It has been almost a week, but I cannot still believe it.

It was like my knees forgot to function as I looked at the coffin in front of me. The cover was in glass so that we could still see inside.

And inside is a woman. She has this smile that I really loved. I couldn’t imagine having a day without seeing it. And like everyone else, she was wearing a white dress. But instead of a black ribbon pinned on her right chest, there was a small rainbow badge. A symbol she really treasured and preached with all her life.

‘Rest in peace, Andrew Suarez’ a tinge of anger ticked inside of me. I cannot believe that some ignorant people still calls her by that name.

They were mourning for Andrew, but I was mourning for Andrea. Everybody’s here for my brother, but I was here for my sister, my older and only sibling.

Now, she’s dead. She’s never gonna wake up.

And it was all our fault.

Before Theo

 

click this for the first part of the story, After Morgan.

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Morgan

Imagine yourself running away from the police.

As you run and sprint through the dark alleys of the city, you could clearly hear the siren of the vehicles had been creating. In every step you make, your heart beats faster and faster. It felt like it was already ripping out of your chest. And as you roam your eyes to find somewhere to hide, you felt your sweat trailing down all over your body as if it was like rain pouring down on you.

You finally found a place to hide. It was behind trash bins filled with garbage. It was filthy enough that it was already crawling down to your nostrils. You then covered your mouth and cried in silence. Trying your best to not make a sound, so that the police wouldn’t know where you are.

You kept on asking yourself, “Why did I do this? Who would have thought that I’ll be ending up at this state?”

 

Then you pondered, after this what will happen next? Where would you go? What’s your plan? You can’t just hide behind those garbage all your life. It was like hope was already gone, when suddenly a person entered your mind. You knew that that person can save you in some way. That person can even ease out the tension you’re already feeling, doing its best to calm you down. To tell that everything will be alright, which will surely happen. However, you realized that it wouldn’t be a great idea to pull that person into this mess that you have made. Clearly, it would hurt them, left them heartbroken. And you wouldn’t want that to happen.

You realized that no matter how hard you hide, there will be always a time that the police will find you. Karma will stab you deep in the back for the mistake that you have committed. And it’s now your choice to let that person cover its eyes or let them watch you get stabbed.

 

In my life, this person was named Theo.

And unlike anyone else, I rather let him cover his eyes to not see the mistake that I did.

I was no saint, that’s for sure. But I let him see me as one.

After Morgan

credits to gif above

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Theo

Imagine yourself in a middle of a crowded mall.

You can see all of their faces as they smile and chit-chat to one another. It makes you wonder what was really going on in their conversations. It urges you to step into their shoes and be someone else. It makes you wonder how different their world is compared to yours, on how life treated them. And after knowing the world in a stranger’s perspective, do you wonder how it’ll change yours? Will it somehow turns you into someone you don’t know?

As you camouflage yourself into the crowd, you can already feel the vibration of every noise. From the hippy music from the arcade, up to the people’s voices, it makes you want to cover your ears and run away from everyone. Leaving you puzzled and wondering, “Why am I here at the first place?”

Then you felt someone’s hand hold your wrist, making you both looked at each other. And with a flash of a smile, all of your senses calmed down. Now you finally know why you are here in a middle of an ear-wrenching crowd. You let this person enter your life and made them change you for the better.

That this person altered you into someone that you didn’t know exist. That this person made you realized all of the other things you didn’t know you could do. A person that made you know yourself more.

And for my case, this person’s name is Morgan.

better.

fan art by @lianthuss give a follow on twitter please!

Eunice

“Hindi na ba talaga pwede?”

Holding his wrist, I pleaded. With his eyes staring right into mine, it’s no doubt why until now I am still into him. Lintek na mga mata ‘yan!

With the loud jazz music echoing, Louie and I are the only people in the hallway. He was wearing a classic black suit and tie and I was wearing a long black dress. The floor was fully carpeted enough, we wouldn’t even notice if someone was already eavesdropping in our scene.

“Eunice, tigilan mo na nga ‘to. Utang na loob naman e!” he answered as he took back his hand. His forehead creased and annoyance was evident all over his face. I really thought he was the one, and I don’t know what really happened between the two of us. I didn’t expect that what he had turned into something like this. Medyo nakakatawa lang talaga kung iisipin.

“But Louie…” He was about to walk away when I pulled his hand once more.

I suddenly froze when I felt a sudden tinge of pain on my left cheek. The sound of his slap echoed around the hallway, it would surely be a great scene to witness what happened.

Well, not for him.

“Eunice, I am begging you. Tigilan mo na ‘to. I wouldn’t want to ruin such a big day just because of you. It has been so long since we broke up. Get over it. And to cause such a scene like this on my wedding day?” he spat those words with disgust.

Holding my left cheek still red and burning, I looked at his back as he walked towards the end of the hallway. Back to the reception of his own wedding.

I knew this was a bad idea being here. Shit.

i chose this.

Sipping a cup of my fifth hot coffee for today,

as the ticking clock passes in this place I never wanted to stay

Looking at my desk all cluttered with paper,

it makes me all flustered and burn it all down later.

All of these staring at my computer all day long,

making me mope around like a sad heartfelt song.

Not a day passes before I ask why am I even here.

I wanted to make art, not to do things with a bottle of cold beer.

But it’s all too late, why am I even ranting all about these?

After all I chose this for you, every single thing that you ever please.

-A.

smile.

I always like seeing a smile on your face,

displaying a joy that no problem can ever erase.

But I suddenly noticed that your lips won’t curl anymore.

You even said you don’t even know the things to be happy for.

Please be honest and tell me you are alright.

Confess that you don’t cry yourself to sleep every night.

You’ve been not yourself these past few days,

even noticed some of your random changed ways.

But seeing the evident gloom in your deep pitch-black eyes,

depicting your perspective that this world is nothing but lies,

I chose to give up, knowing there’s no time and chance to reconcile.

But before that, I looked again at the mirror to give myself one last smile.

-A.